


Until the End of Our Days

by space_kid (orphan_account)



Series: The Hunter and The Angel [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-23
Updated: 2014-09-23
Packaged: 2018-02-14 22:33:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2205474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/space_kid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set 8 months after Everybody Leaves, with Castiel now a human and experiencing scary things called emotions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Until the End of Our Days

The demon wasn't anything special, in all honesty. If anything, it was more boring then usual. Same black eyes, same threats to Dean, Castiel, and Sam, same techniques. But Cas would always remember that demon, named Smith. He smirked and grinned and kept his mouth shut, not revealing anything as the hunters interrogated him. Every so often, Dean would throw a punch to the demon, in an act of pure frustration and anger. The demon would spit the blood away, and glare at the Winchesters. Castiel took watch at the door, making sure no one got in or out.

Cas watched as Dean weeded information out of the Satan spawn, a small smile on his face. It had been 8 months since that day in the rain, under the oak, surrounded by angry thoughts and tainted memories. It was such a broken and beautiful moment to Cas, kissing Dean while the hunter contemplated taking his own life, healing a wound he caused on his own, no monsters except the ones in his mind. Castiel would be lying if he said he hadn't waited forever for that moment of bliss. The feelings were confusing and jumbled, and in a way, still are. But Dean has been patient with him, letting him tan control of these new emotions in an understanding way. He still has fond memories of the first time he and Dean had been intimate. Dean was working on a case in Texas, a particularly _hot _part of Texas. Cas vividly remembers seeing Dean without his shirt, and suddenly feeling uncomfortable urges to touch and kiss and lick. He asked Dean about it when they got back to the motel. Sam laughed loudly, and shuffled out the building, claiming he had somethings to pick up, leaving the angel and the hunter alone, one sweaty and the other unknowingly aroused beyond belief. The touches were tiny fires, the kisses electrical shocks. Cas had a pleasant experience, finding out the different noises Dean makes, whether it be moans of pleasure, or whines of agitation. Cas could've stayed in the dusty bed forever, wrapped in Dean's warmth.__

Dean was even comforting when he was stripped of his Angel power, and his name. He held him while he cried into the rough leather, breathing lungfulls of _Dean. _He had smiled into his black hair, whispering comforting words and promises. Castiel shook his head, focusing back on the interrogation.__

"Geez, you are _pathetic _Winchesters. I thought you posed a threat! I can see now I was wro-" Smith was stopped by Dean's palm contacting his already bloody cheek, the sound echoing in the small office space. Dean wiped his hand on his jeans, the scowl on his face completely focused on the demon__

__"Now," Dean started, "you're gonna tell me what you're planning on doing, stealing all those little kids." Smith threw his head back in a hard belly laugh, almost red in the face by the lack of oxygen. The hunters just stared at him, appalled. When Smith seemed to catch his breath, he looked up at Dean.__

"What? You think I'm honing to tell _you? _Are you kidding?" When the demon was met with questioning stares, he groaned as if annoyed, which he probably was."So you _imbeciles _think I'll reveal the entire plan of my kind, just because I feel slight discomfort?!" His smirk seemed strained. "Come on, you're smarter then that. What did daddy teach you? You are pathetic excuses for human bei-" Smith helps in pain when Dean stabs Ruby's dagger into his thigh, small shocks escaping the wound. As he yells, the boys hear a shuffling from upstairs. Dean instructs Sam to check it out, while Castiel watches his own back. Sam nods with no hesitation, and as silently as possible, stalks up the stairs with a a shotgun in his tamed hands. As soon as Sam is up and out of sight, Castiel feels a pair of warm arms wrap around his mid section.____

"Are you okay?" Dean asks against the shell of the ex angel's ear, proceeding to nibble on the skin a bit. Cas audibly swallows,and let's out a sigh, submitting into Dean's warmth that he's always willing to hand Castiel on plates.

"Yes Dean, I'm fine." Castiel narrows his eyes at the top of the stairs. "Sam better be alright. The last thing I need you acting pouty all day." Cas is rewarded by a chuckle from his boyfriend, his breath simply warm puffs of air on love bite red skin.

"You love me anyway." He can almost hear the smirk.

"Until the end of my days."

Dean smiled against Cas' ear, and spun him around to face the hunter. Castiel looked into Dean's green eyes, and was immediately at peace. There was something so _comforting _about them, something Cas couldn't pinpoint exactly. They were an exotic green too, slightly muted, and somehow the brightest thing Castiel has ever seen simultaneously. It was one of the many things that made Cas fall. Sure, a rebellion also was a driving force, but this man, the being of perfection, he was the reason. He was always the reason. Why Cas breathed, why Cas ate, why Cas got up in the morning. All for Dean Winchester.__

The attack stunned both men.

One moment, Castiel was seeing his reflection in Dean's eyes, the next, all he sees is _pain. _Dean's mouth slightly parts, revealing red tongue and white teeth; the red blood from him dripping down his white shirt, staining the material. Castiel can faintly see the tip of the knife through flesh and blood. Dean slumps forward, toward Cas, and the ex angel thinks he's not only holding up Dean, but also his world. His light. His life, burning out and following over, surrendering to death. Surrendering was for when Dean pinned Cas' wrists to the bed, stealing kisses like they are jewels. Surrendering was for when Dean says something insensitive, and Castiel forgives him after a day or two.__

This wasn't surrendering. Where was the love and passion?

As Castiel fumbles to catch Dean's bleeding body, he hears more noises from behind him. He is, however, forced to stay on his knees, the older hunter broken in his lap. Castiel chokes on a sob, squeezing his eyes shut, wanting this feeling gone. He doesn't like this emotion, it hurts and makes Castiel well up tears. It's not like arousal, warm and cheery and pleasant. This _hurts. ___

_"DEAN!!" ___

Sam's yelling is simply white noise in the background, merely a buzzing bee, even though it should be front and center in Cas' attention. But it's not. All Castiel can see is his love's blood stained all over his favorite trench coat. And the worst part is that Dean's still _breathing, _clinging on the last strand of life and consciousness he has. A voice in the back of Castiel's mind tells him to let Sam have it, but the selfish voice is simply too dominating.__

_"CAS, WHAT HAPPENED?! DEAN!!!" ___

Dean has he hand curled into the fabric of Cas' coat, looking blankly up at the ceiling, undoubtedly hearing the angels and reapers urging him to let go. But he stayed, for _Cas. _Castiel faintly heard the stabbing of demons, and the shocks of the knife, but everything, _everthing, _was focused on the hunter, dying in the ex angel's lap. Not a force in the universe could tear Cas away. Dean's lost eyes wondered over to Castiel's blue ones, and Cas broke down. There was so much pain, and hurt in his eyes, it physically burned. Castiel couldn't look back, not that he could is he forcefully shoved his head back. His tears made everything blurry and disorienting. Out of the corner of his eye, Dean smiled at Castiel, a slight quirk of the lips.____

_"I love you, Cas." _Dean whispered, for Castiel's ears only.__

And with that, Dean Winchester left. Castiel saw his green eyes fade away, looking precious color. He could see the memories flicker in his mind, the time they were curled up, entangled with one another on the couch, the time they went to the park, and just sat on a bench, staring at the children and birds. _I thought we'd grow old together. _But Dean had to leave. And he did. 'Go, go, go, go GO, GO. Leave, leave LEAVE!' Castiel screamed in his mind, injuring his throat and constricting his heart like a snake. He left, Dean Winchester. Left the world, left words unsaid, left candles of lust burning in the depths of his mind.__

Moments later, Sam came tearing through the house, blood covering his body and hands, a look of woe and utter destruction on his face. He kneeled down next to his deceased brother, closing his eyes indefinitely, since Castiel was too busy sobbing his feelings away control the dusty leather. The fabric smelled so much like Dean, Cas almost threw up. He would be cover in the stench of Dean, his dead lover. His smiled would remain in the air, powerful and demanding all attention. The smell of the Impala will be unbearable, too many memories made there. Sam's eyes slide over to the devil's trap, noticing a dollop of spit on the red paint. Sam sighed.

Sam put his arm around a shaking Cas' shoulders, the other raking through Dean's hair. _Everybody leaves. Everybody leaves. Everybody leaves. _Castiel shook, his body over turned by sobs of a broken proportion. This wasn't the story he wanted. He wanted a happily ever after with the person he fell in love with. He wanted morning kisses and afternoon hugs. He wanted Dean's intimate whispers and his stupid jokes. He wanted Dean back, alive, strong arms wrapped around his shoulders. The dead weight in his lap was slowly turning cold, and Castiel sobbed again. It was too much. All of this together, too much.__

With reluctant permission, Sam placed both his arms under Dean's body, lifting him up. He was the first out the door, Castiel right behind. Cas was waiting for Dean to come back, calling him and Sam girls for think he had actually died. One measly demon killed Dean Winchester? Castiel just wanted to be wrong. He wanted to be proven wrong so bad, it stung. He burned with the knowledge that the love of his life died in his arms, not a tear in his eye, not a fear on his face.

Sam walked out of the building, carrying his dead brother with slight ease. Castiel was a few steps behind, knowing well and good he'd probably never get near Dean again. He'd rather never see him again then see him dead forever.

They placed him in the back of the Impala, the car reeking of _Dean. _Slight booze, slight food, and the stench of his grin hung heavy in the air, suffocating the two in the car. Sam started up the engine,and rolled down the street, away from the memories and dried blood. Let someone else discover the mystery. Cas stared out the window, trying not to think about the fact that Dean was dying on his back, no longer alive, and he and Sam haven't spoken a word about it. Not that Cas could start the conversation without snapping.__

That night, the 2 drove for a lifetime, from New York to Kansas, all with as minimal stops as possible. When they finally reached Sam's birth town, they were escorted to the cemetery to "honor the dead." Cas and Sam had a different plan, however.

They learned carrying a dead body through a cemetery was harder then they though. Sam kept having to Nov his hands, Castiel kept tripping over nothing. They were a mess, to say the least.

They finally got to a secluded section, only a couple yards from the tombstones. The boys gently let Dean to the ground, the white sheet covering him being listed with dew in the process. Sam stood back up, and looked over at Castiel with a concerned expression. Cas tore his eyes from Dean, and looked at the younger Winchester.

"Where is the shovel?" Castiel asked, looking around for the equipment. Sam let out a long sigh, hanging his head in sadness and defeat.

"Cas, you know we can't... _bury him _… right?" Sam asked. Cas felt his mouth dry and his body stand rigid. If there was any definition of despair, it would be the fact that you can't even give the love your life a proper funeral. You have to _burn his body. _His hair, scorched. His eyes, burned. His mind, melted. His skin, his tattoo, his teeth, his fingernails. Dean Winchester was going to crackle and burn and rot and all Castiel could do was watch. The stench of burnt boyfriend, choking them out. Cas suddenly felt a bit woozy, as he stumbled over at a nearby stump. Sam walked over to Cas, and gave a tiny smile to the fallen angel.____

"Don't worry, Cas. I'll get the sticks, you just chill." Sam got up, and wandered over to a patch of heavy woods, disappearing from view. Castiel Sat, trying to focus on anything. Something happy, something hopeful, something inspiring. But when he looked around, all he saw was dead trees, dreary skies, and bloody sheets. Nothing inspiring was here. Everything was really dead. Even Castiel.

Cas stood up, feeling the headrush pass through him like a wave, as he wandered over to a pair of lonely sticks. He stared down at them, before bending over and lifting them up. He reached into his pocket, and pulled out Dean's amulet. He knew he couldn't see it burn. It would destroy him to see it melt away into nothing, scalding metal leaving a puddle on his chest. Castiel shook his head, turning on his heels and walking over to Dean.

Cas knew Dean wasn't religious. Who could blame him? All the angels he met were trying to kill him, God abandoned him when he was needed most. He knew Dean wasn't about all the crosses and bibles, but it still felt right to give him _something. _Castiel tore the amulet off the string, placing the gold head in his pocket. He then formed the sticks into a cross, using the string to bind the two together. When he was finished, he had a functioning cross to put in the ground. It would be where Dean would be buried, but this was better then nothing to Cas.__

Castiel impaled the cross into the cold earth, and stood back, blinking away his tears. He was so damn cold. His tears seemed to stick to his stricken face, and he just wanted to lie down with Dean, the warmth of his and a dirty motel blanket sounding like a silly fantasy. Cas had to accept the fact that Dean left. He wasn't going to come home, ever.

Castiel's eyes roamed around the green grass, and over to the bloody white sheet containing Dean. The more Cas tried to forget these memories, the more they seemed to pop up, and make him heartbroken. The green grass. Cas closed his eyes, giving into the memory:

_"Dean, you have very green eyes." Castiel said, staring at Dean from across a booth at some random motel. This case was pretty easy to the boys, so they went out to eat. Sam was currently in the bathroom, leaving the two alone with a double cheeseburger and soft drinks. Dean looked up at Cas. A faint smile was drawn across his face. ___

_"I guess I do." Dean took a hefty bite of his burger, savoring the taste. Castiel tilted his head in adorable confusion. ___

_"How are your eyes so green, Dean? I thought it impossible to have such an envious green glint."Castiel finally asked, looking up at said green eyes. Dean closed his eyes, setting his food down and looking at Cas, a hint of sorrow and determination in his features. ___

_"If I was some kind of artsy fartsy chick, I'd say it held the stars or something." He chuckled darkly, no trace of humor. Cas tensed at the harshness of the laugh. ___

_"But if I'm being honest with myself, I'd say it from all the looking down I do." Dean looked up at Castiel, eyes glistening. "This world is harsh and powerful, so all I do is look at the grass, pretending I don't care about anything." The hunter shrugged. Then he slid his hands over to Cas', intertwining their fingers in an intimate embrace. Castiel looks over at Dean, flustered. Dean smiled again, his little smile that was only for Cas. "Maybe that's why you're eyes are so blue. You're always looking up." Dean smiled a big grin again, and for the thousandth time in a life time, Cas fell for Dean. ___

Cas wiped his eyes, trying to paw the memories away from his eyes. They sting, and Castiel just wanted to be numb. _"Until the end of my days." _Dean said that all the time, mostly when talking about his love for Cas. Another memory emerges from the depths of Castiel's mind, startling him. He welcomes it, reluctantly:__

_They were lying loosely on the bed of the hunter, listening to music too loud and sitting in a room too hot. Cas, looked over at Dean, and fell again. He smiled into Dean's jaw, giving him goosebumps. ___

_"How much do you love me?" Cas asked his lover, in all most a whisper between the two. Dean shuffled on the bed, looking intensively at Castiel. ___

_"I love you, Castiel. I love you like the sun loves the moon, or the clouds love the sky. I love you more then I love life, I love you more then my car, I love you more then pie, I love you more then killing those demon bastards. I love you more then I love my jacket, I love you more then Metallica, I love you more then I love myself." Dean smiled down at Cas, clearly not finished. "And I know God will send me to hell for admitting this, but you, Castiel, you are so beautiful and I cannot believe how far I've fallen for you, because I. Am. In. Love. With. You." Castiel crashed on the ground at the same time he tackled Dean into his bed, kissing and touching and generally loving. ___

His eyes flicked open, and he was taken aback from the scene in front of him. On the cross of Dean that Cas made, was a bright red balloon tied to the sticks, sticking out from the dull background like a sore thumb. _Who put that there? _Castiel thought. He surely hadn't, and he seriously doubted Sam did either. The angel walked cautiously walked to the balloon, unaware if it would bite back. When he finally made it to the red, where he plucked the balloon from the sticks, holding on to it tightly.__

"Cas..."

Castiel stood frozen, shock running through his veins like venom. He _knew _that voice. He could pick it from a crowd, from the world. He knew it like he knew the back of his hand, like he knew his voice. Shaking, Castiel turned around, facing the voice behind him. And he found himself facing Dean Winchester. Cas felt his heart drop to the ground, words seeming to be impossible. He had so many questions, so many thoughts, he suddenly thought woozy, almost falling over. Dean smiled at him, hands in his leather jacket pockets, seemingly unaware that his body is lying under bloody sheet, unharmed. So he was a ghost, but Cas would -still- loves him. He'd love him if he was a shoe or a rock. He'd love Dean Winchester until the end of his days. He finally managed to move, feet stomping on the ground toward his love. Suddenly, he was fave to face with him, eyes slightly less green then Cas was used to. Dean smirked at him.__

"You look like you've seen a ghost." Dean joked. Cas reached out to Dean, but dropped his hand. He looked at his red balloon.

"Why the balloon?" Cas asked. Dean looked down, as if shy.

"Remember the fair?" Castiel blushed. It was the first place Dean took his shirt off at Texas, that first intimate moment they had. Castiel's cheeks turned red at the memory of the touches, the moans, the pleasure. All was no more, however.

"Don't you want to talk to Sam?" Dean looked behind his back, toward the wooded area.

"Nah, he's a big boy. He can handle this." Castiel raised his eyebrow.

"I can't?" Cas asked, a little hurt at Dean's idea of how fragile he was. Dean stepped forward, cupping the angel's cheeks in a loving matter. _He must've been a strong ghost to be able all the contact, _Cas thought as he leaned into the touch. He looked at Dean, who was giving a sad smile to him.__

_"Can you?" _Dean asked as he leaned toward Cas. Castiel accepted the kiss, tilting his head slightly to enjoy the kiss more. Their mouths moved in sync, as it was pure bliss. Cas thought he lost this forever. He thought he'd never have it again, and it'd be burned along with Dean's body. He would be damned if he wasn't going to enjoy this kiss with his lover. After a few moments, Dean pulled apart, and rested his forehead against Castiel's, both looking into the depth of each other's eyes.__

The fallen angel shook his head lightly, tears blurring the world together, making Dean a mix of tans and browns and two green dots. _"No, I can't," _He whispered, bottom lip slightly shaking from the restricted flow of tears. Cas cursed at himself for crying in front of Dean, but with all that was happening, he simply felt overwhelmed. Dean smiled at him, thumb stroking the apple of Cas' cheek, trying to calm his nerves.__

"It's okay, baby, I know." Dean smiled. "Baby, I know." Cas let the tears fall down his cheeks, flowing like rivers. Dean's smile faded a bit, as Castiel tried to regain control of his body.

"I know you hurt, but I feel like we left on a bad note." He joked, eyes flicking down to the ground. Cas held his breath. "But that's why I'm here, Castiel."

His eyebrows furrowed together in confusion. Dean was here, he didn't want to talk to Sam... What could this Dean need?

Dean took Cas' silence as an okay to continue. _"You need to let me go, Castiel." ___

Castiel simply shook his head, rejecting even the notion of losing Dean again. He was here, for crying out loud! Dean was here, with Cas, as it should be. He'd keep the balloon safe, and never release it until it was pried from his dead fingers. The fallen angel was prepared to do anything to keep it safe and have the hunter stay.

"But... You're _here. _Right here, right now, you are in my arms, breathing and smiling. This is all I need, Dean Winchester. This is all I need in life. Let's run away together." Cas nuzzled Dean's neck, eyes blurry with tears with the occasional slipping past him. Cas put his arms around his lover's neck, burying his face into the leather. It didn't smell like Dean, it didn't smell like anything at all, actually. But the feeling of leather on his red and wet face simply felt too real, causing Castiel to bury his head deeper into the material.__

"Cas, you can't spend the rest of your life mourning me..." Dean mumbled into Castiel's hair. Cas grumbled, and dug his face deeper.

"Until the end of our days." Cas whispered. Dean let go, and smiled down at his boy, his love, his _life. _This boy ment everything to him, and he had to lose him again, amungst the fog of despair and the overcast of depression. The feelings were mutual. Cas looked up at Dean with wide eyes, observing every little detail of his almost lover. His Dean had a slight smatter of freckles across his nose and cheeks, while this Dean was clear skinned. His Dean had a sandy brown hair that looked like a mocha coffee beverage. This Dean had slightly tan hair. Cas couldn't decide if he was more sad that this Dean looked a little off then the real Dean, or that he looks too much like Dean.__

_"Let the balloon go, Cas." _Dean whispered in Castiel's ear, breath tickling the pale shell of his ear. Cas squeezed his eyes tight enough to hurt, clutching the balloon, praying to anyone to let him wake up from this night, because he couldn't take it. This was too much, and Castiel just wanted Dean and warmth and happiness and genuine smiles. Dean must've thought Cas was crazy if he was going to let his hunter come back, only to have to let him go again. Castiel shook his head, hair whooshing, heart flipping. Castiel sigh, and opened his eyes slightly, looking at the magical being that was Dean Winchester. With bronze hair, white teeth, slight freckles, forrest eyes. Cas imagined the freckles popping and the green shining on Ghost-Dean, but failed miserably. If Cas couldn't have real Dean, then what was the point?__

With shaky fingers, Castiel let the balloon go, hand opening like a bear trap.

Dean looked into the afternoon sky, a slight smile on his face, the light making his boyish charm glimmer. As the balloon climbed higher into the sky and clouds, Cas realized he was wasting precious seconds he had with Dean. He lunged for Dean's neck, grabbing the nape of it forcefully, and pulling him down, where he proceeded to smash their lips together, all tongue, teeth, and gasps. Dean kept trying to pull away, but Castiel wouldn't let him. _No words. Just touches. _Cas moved their lips together in an ungraceful manner, before finally releasing Dean, resting his forehead against Dean's slightly damp one. His breathing was more like wisps and sighs, and Cas knew he needed to speak with Dean.__

"We have approximately 3 minutes and 28 seconds until that balloon pops, and I intend of making the most of it." His hunter tried to speak, but Cas silenced him with a rubbing of lips. "No more talking. Just... _touch me Dean." _And touch Dean did. He pressed his lips to Cas again, more civilized and polite, before worrying Cas' bottom lip between his teeth, enticing a moan from the ex angel. Cas took the opportunity to slip his tongue into his dead boyfriend's mouth, wrestling like the desperate men that they are. He thinks about all the touches, the smiles, the groans, the pleasure, the gasps, the blood, the sweat, the memories. _Dean Winchester is dead. _Castiel didn't think about purgatory, hell, Crowley, God, or even Sam. Everything Cas could give, he gave to Dean in this moment, as he slid that big leather jacket off tanned, sculpted shoulders. Both sets of hairs roamed each other's bodies, one hand finding Castiel's ass, the other hand sliding into Dean's hair in excitement. Dean grinned into the kiss, as he held his arms up, silently allowing Castiel to remove the piece of clothing. Cas happily accepted the offer, pulling the black shirt over Dean's head, revealing tanned skin, a black tattoo, and muscles that Castiel had the strange urge to lick. He didn't, however, instead attacking Dean's lips once more. He was surprised to find his eyes filling with tears of ultimate sorrow. This was it. The last precious moments with his love. The reason he rebelled against the only home he had, the reason he turned human, the thing that he sacrificed his army for, was going to disappear forever into the abyss of hell and torture and blood. Castiel gripped Dean's shoulders as tight as he possibly could, begging the world to just let Cas be happy for a day. That's all he needed. They could have a wedding in a day, right? Sam could preach, they could say their vows in the motel. This could work. Cas gripped his shoulders impossibly hard, as if the world couldn't care take Dean when Cas was gripping him, the boy he raised from perdition. And for a moment, Castiel thought he was happy. "Until the end of our days," Dean whispers into Cas' lips.____

_Pop! ___

And just like, it was gone. Not with a flap of wings. Not in a ball of fire. No screams. No cries. Castiel blinked, and he was gone. Cas let two streams of tears escape his eyes, falling to his knees, sobs forcing their way out.

_"Until the end of our days, Castiel. I'll love you until the day I die." ___

**Author's Note:**

> Finally. Finished. *collapses* wake me when Destiel is cannon...


End file.
